Jokes!  

Posted by Anonymous

The LAPD(Los Angeles Police Department), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"


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A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.

The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators.

The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.

The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who pushed me in the pool!"

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7 comments

hahaha i like the first one because it is like sooo true at least in all the tv shows that i watch....i dont know why but it is so funny!!

Anonymous  

It's funny cause the LAPD is known for their straight, brutal, law enforcement...

yes i know they are. and just checking lapd stands for Las Angelas Police Department right?

Hilarious! Better than the previous post.

Anonymous  

Guys, PLEASE stop complementing if you're gonna say someone did better than someone else! Some of you did that to me and it definitely isn't building each other up. You can say "great post," but there's no need to say, "that was better than ______!"

Thanks for listening

gosh guys go to my blog i am putting so much stuff on it.

Nate

P.S. By the way good jokes/post.

robert did you take me off of the authors list?!?!